hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes.
Song of Songs
the Wheel of Love has been set in motion, there is no
don't we do it in the road?
we are erotic, sexual beings. Sexual desire, passion,
and lusty, juicy attractions are natural. The sights,
the sounds, the smells, the tastes, and the touch of
another can all be a part of the sexual turn-on. Pheromones
- those natural subliminal fragrances produced by the
body - are
far more influential in erotic attraction than most of
us realize. Subtle energies flow between us, often sparking
the body electric, luring us closer. When we resonate
with each other, we desire. Erotic passion is at our
core. Different individuals in different cultures at
different times have danced the primordial sexual dance
differently, some with more shame or guilt, some with
more joy and ecstasy. All men, of course, are not alike.
Likewise, all women are not alike. One moment is not
an exact clone of the next moment. But our sexual dance
is inherent in our nature.
guide is for lovers who wish to be even more erotic. It
is for lovers who wish to say without words, I love
you. It is for strangers who wish to explore becoming
lovers. It is for longtime mates who wish to relight the
Is an Erotic Lover?
sex is the rubbing together of body parts. It can feel
pleasurable. For many it is the predominant mode of sexual
expression. Friction sex, however, lacks certain qualities:
the sensual and the intimate. Sensuality is the appreciation
of all the sensory modes: flavor, fragrance, hue, texture,
timbre, contour, and more. An erotic lover is willing to
take the time. Intimacy is openness to our own feelings
and to our partner's feelings. It is honesty, vulnerability,
and trust. There is willingness to listen and to communicate.
While one need not necessarily be romantically in love,
there is always respect. In contrast to the repetitious
nature of friction sex, erotic sex flows. One moment may
be spontaneously playful, the next quietly reverent. There
is lingering, allowing the next feeling and touch to unfold.
In exploration, new joys are welcomed. To be an erotic
lover, then, is to blend the sensual, the sexual, and the
are all capable of expressing these qualities. Unfortunately,
we may never have learned how to create conditions that
encourage sensuality and intimacy. Rarely at puberty are
we sent to a mentor to learn how to be a creative lover.
In school there are no courses in Erotic Lovemaking. And
the backseat of a car is far from conducive to learning
about a slow hand, an easy touch. Through trial and error
and sometimes fortunate circumstances, we may begin to
integrate the sensual, the sexual, and the intimate. The
process and experiences are unique for each of us. What
follows in this book reflects my own particular development.
The various techniques, exercises, and rituals are suggestions,
a guide for rediscovering some paths not taken for a while.
Some suggestions will be directions for paths never taken.
Passions is for both men and women. Some of the techniques
are applicable only to a woman's body and some only to
a man's body. Most are for every body. In Erotic Passions,
you can begin anywhere. Simply pick it up from the nightstand
beside your bed and look at the table of contents for an
adventure of interest. Or just flip to a page. If something
strikes your fancy, cuddle up to your partner and ask for
a date (five minutes from now or next week). For encouragement,
you might read a few passages aloud. Some of the activities
will take preparation; a few may take practice. Others
require an open mind. For some, you just kick back the
bed sheets. Remember to be open to receiving as well as
giving. Pleasuring another is a flattering gift. But unless
we are willing to allow our partner to conduct occasionally,
after a while the concerts may lose their excitement. Regardless
of your role, the most important guideline is to have fun.